i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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