dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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