Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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