sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
