Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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