i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
