his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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