Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
