Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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