You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize