Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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