somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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