i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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