so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize