I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
