They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
