do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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