At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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