Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Alive.
So much puke
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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