I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
