I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
