Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
