worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize