Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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