Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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