I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
