I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
