My pussy is not your playground.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
