She announced her abortion via fbk
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
