I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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