Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
