using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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