he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
