I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize