look no pants
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
