she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
