I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I cockslap morals
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
