My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
