I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
