we're blogging at a bar
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
