I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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