Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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