my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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