You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
