...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
