You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
