I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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