Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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