So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
