he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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