if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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