hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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