seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
