Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm passing your future prison.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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