I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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