sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
