Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Come on in and take your pants off
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