I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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