I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My penis needs a shock collar
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
