yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
