I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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