Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
