Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize