Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
