I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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