I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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