my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
