My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
