i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
is it fun? or sober?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
