who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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