your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
