If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
