mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
