And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
