Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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